Our first "take home" child - Intro (part 3)

The story continues...

During our grieving for our first child, we started praying because we knew that Memphis was just not the right place for us any more.  Atom got a call from a friend from college that had an opportunity for him.  His friend had been offered a job in our home state, he wasn't interested but thought of Atom.  Atom put in his resume and I prayed like crazy.  Atom said this would be his dream job and that he didn't think he would get it.  I just had that feeling, some call it women's intuition, others call it discernment.  I don't know what it is but I just knew this was it.  It took about a week but Atom called me and told me he got an offer for the job.  I was so excited that after work I started packing.  By the time Atom got home I already had several boxes packed.  Needless to say I was a little excited.  We move to North Carolina and God blessed both of us with great jobs.  We were also able to find a wonderful church and buy our first house.  Then it happened, we found out I was pregnant again!!!

We were again thrilled but this time it was different for us.  Our excitement was stifled by the fear that we may never get to meet this little one.  This robbed us of so much joy.  With each milestone in my pregnancy, we grieved a little for the child with which we didn't get to experience these moments.  After a lot of prayer and reflection, with the grace of God, we where able to put away our fear and have joy for this wonderful new gift.

This kind of fear doesn't just stay away, it is something you have to deal with each time it creeps back in.  One of the times that I started to struggle again was at 27 weeks when I began to have pre-term labor.  We struggled with the thought that we may loss this baby but "tried" to trust God's plan.  They stopped my labor several times and the last time they stopped it I was 36 weeks and 5 days.  We were finally able to meet one of our children at 40 weeks and 1 day.  Since he is part of Atom, he will be called Proton in my blog.  Proton was born full-term at 7 lbs 1 oz and 19 inches long at 5:20 am in February 2008.  God blessed me to be able to enjoy my son and my joy was so abundant that I was able to hold my baby boy!

One thing I would encourage all women that have been through a miscarriage is try to put away your fear and enjoy that child.  I truly do understand that this is easier to say than do but with God all things are possible (Matthew 19:26).  Find joy in every moment you have with that child, even if it is very short.  Don't be robbed of those moments because you will never get them back.  I truly regret not enjoy every moment when I was pregnant and I hope others can learn from my mistake.  Remember that every precious moment with our children is a gift.  If we could keep that close to our hearts, we would have much happier homes and children. 

My next post will be able our miscarriages and infertility issues in between our two earthly children.  This is my story that very few people know but I feel is important to share.  See you soon!